Adult Play Isn't Childish: It's Essential for Stress Relief, Creativity & Connection
- Stefan Jurgens
- Jul 4
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 14
Right now, as I write, I hear kids laughing outside my window, lost in a game in the neighbour’s yard. Their pure, unfiltered joy stopped me cold. When was the last time I played like that? Not just strumming my guitar (though I love that), but truly letting go, immersed in curiosity or silliness, simply for the fun of it?
We toss the word play around easily: I play music, play with ideas, play a role, let’s see how this plays out. As adults, we can relegate play to childhood and as a part we outgrew for mortgages and meetings.
It’s easy to get swept up in the “shoulds” and the serious business of adulthood. Often, it happens so gradually we barely notice. At other times, choosing responsibility over play feels like a badge of honour we wear without question. And sometimes, it’s simply thrust upon us by circumstance.
But what if sidelining play is actually costing us – our joy, our connections, even our ability to thrive?
Beyond Recess: The Nuanced Magic of Adult Play
We may dismiss play as frivolous, but it’s far from trivial. In fact, it’s fundamental and one of the most vital parts of being human. And while we might not always call it play, chances are, you’ve felt it: those moments of joy, curiosity, or lightness that make you feel fully alive.
Losing yourself in a new recipe, laughing at a silly inside joke, wandering a trail just to see what’s ahead. Each is a form of play.
When people describe playful moments, a clear pattern emerges: joy in simple moments, deeper connection, creative sparks, a sense of being fully alive and moving through life with a lighter, more open heart.
That feeling doesn’t come from board games or jungle gyms alone. True playfulness is less about the activity and more about the attitude. It's a willingness to meet the moment with curiosity and presence.
From what I've seen, both personally and professionally, those micro-moments of playfulness do something profound: they help us reset and find our footing.
Adults who weave playfulness into their lives tend to bounce back more easily, feel less weighed down by worry, and think outside the box when problems arise. These aren't just 'nice-to-haves'—they’re the quiet foundations of real emotional resilience.
So, what happens when play disappears from our lives?
The opposite isn't just "work." It often feels more like stagnation, rigidity, or that low hum of weariness we can't quite shake.
Skipping play isn't neutral. It leaves a gap. Think of playfulness as the soil and play as the nutrient for our well-being:
Stress Melter – Play pulls us out of our worried minds and into the present. It interrupts the stress cycle, reminding us that life is more than deadlines and helping us see things with fresh eyes and a lighter heart.
Creativity Spark – Innovation thrives here. Playing with ideas, materials, or conversations without forcing outcomes creates space for problem-solving and breakthroughs.
Connection Catalyst – Sharing a genuine laugh melts tension instantly. This creates space for shared vulnerability where, suddenly, collaboration flows effortlessly when we let lightness lead.
Resilience Builder – Life throws curveballs. Playfulness builds adaptability, helping us navigate challenges with flexibility, grace, and even moments of joy. It keeps us supple, not brittle.
Reclaiming Your Spark
You don’t need hours or elaborate setups. It’s about weaving moments of play into daily life with a playful attitude:
Find Your Play Language – What sparks joyful exploration for you? Gardening, karaoke, Lego, wild brainstorming, tinkering? There’s no right answer, only yours.
Embrace Micro-Moments – Dance while loading the dishwasher, doodle during calls, take a new route home, be silly with your pet for five minutes. It all counts.
Reconnect with Childhood Joy – What made you lose track of time at ten? Blow bubbles, skip, build a wobbly sandcastle—can you try a simple version now?
Invite Others In (Optional but Powerful) – Cook together experimenting, play a lighthearted board game, tell terrible jokes. Shared play builds connection.
Drop Judgment – Don’t criticize your playfulness. Just be present, notice how you feel, and let go of outcomes.
The Takeaway: Play is Your Birthright, Not a Regression
Cultivating playfulness isn’t an escape from adulthood. It enriches it. It sparks curiosity, warms connection, and brings presence amid the rush. It reminds us we’re more than responsibilities; we’re capable of joy and lightness.
So, when you hear laughter nearby, don’t just feel nostalgic. Let it remind you:
Play isn’t behind you. It’s waiting right here, in the small, surprising moments of wonder.
Your well-being will thank you.
At Inner Counsel Therapy, I walk alongside people ready to lighten the load of relentless 'shoulds' and rigid expectations. Together, we gently explore how to approach your goals and self-understanding with more spaciousness, curiosity, and yes, even a touch of playfulness.
If you're feeling the weight of constant striving and yearn to reconnect with a more authentic, joyful way of being, reach out. Let's take the next step toward rediscovering your innate spark.
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