Five More Gentle Truths for When Life Feels Heavy — Part 2/2

If you read Part 1, welcome back. If this is your first visit, these five reflections pick up where the first five left off. They focus on how to work with feelings, honour daily variability, move beyond avoidance, claim your belonging, and speak to yourself with the care you would give a friend.

Take them slowly. Small shifts add up.

1. Feelings are information, not destiny.

Feelings are signals, not predictions. Anxiety can mean you care, sadness can signal loss, and anger often shows a crossed boundary.

A helpful step is to name the feeling and then ask, “What is this telling me?”

Naming reduces reactivity and creates space for choice. You do not have to act on every emotion, but you can treat emotions as data that inform wise next steps.

2. Your capacity changes day to day. That is normal.

Capacity is not a fixed trait. Some days you will feel energized and capable. Other days a simple task may take everything you have. Accepting variability reduces shame and sets kinder expectations.

Plan for flexibility. On higher energy days, tackle tasks that need deeper focus. On lower energy days, prioritize essentials and allow more rest. Over time this rhythm helps prevent the boom and crash cycle that leads to burnout.

3. Avoidance borrows peace from your future self.

Avoidance feels safer in the short term. It can reduce anxiety immediately, but it also lets problems grow in the dark. Often small steps are more sustainable than dramatic leaps.

Try a tiny-step approach. If a task feels overwhelming, identify the smallest next action.

Opening an email, making a 10-minute plan, or drafting a single sentence can create momentum. Celebrate the step itself rather than waiting for full completion.

4. You do not need to earn the right to exist. You already have it.

This truth gets at belonging and human dignity. Many people operate under a belief that they must perform to deserve space, care, or love. That belief leads to perfectionism, people pleasing, and chronic exhaustion.

Practice simple reminders. Say out loud, “I belong,” or, “I do not have to prove my worth.” Repeat when self-criticism rises. Over time these reminders can shift the internal narrative from conditional worth to steady belonging.

5. If your friends heard you speak to yourself, would they stay?

The friendship test is a powerful mirror. Most of us are gentler with friends than we are with ourselves. We offer understanding, patience, and encouragement to others. Why not give ourselves the same?

When harsh self-talk appears, imagine how you would respond to a close friend who said the same words. Offer yourself what you would offer them. This does not mean ignoring needed change. It means pairing honesty with compassion.

A closing invitation

These reflections are invitations, not rules. Try one practice this week. Notice how it changes your decisions or your inner tone. Small acts of care compound into significant change.

If you would like a short conversation about how to bring these truths into your life, a free 20-minute consultation is available.

Stefan Jürgens, RP (Qualifying), is the founder of Inner Counsel Psychotherapy. He believes self-compassion is a radical act of courage and helps adults move from critic to companion. Stefan guides people away from perfectionism toward authentic self-acceptance. When you are ready to practice the kindness you give others, let's book some time together.

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