It’s OK To Feel Tired: Your Exhaustion is Valid

(Part 1/4 of "The Permission to Pause" Series)

You know that feeling? When your body feels like lead, your head is foggy, and even pulling on your shoes takes effort? Maybe you’re fighting off a cold, buried under chores, or just feeling … blah. No spark. No motivation. Just heavy.

I get it. 

And living through that weariness teaches us this: Your fatigue isn't about laziness. It's your human body and mind speaking honestly…

• The Body’s Protest: Fatigue, tension, and headaches often signal chronic stress, whether from illness, work, or care-giving. These symptoms are your body’s way of asking for rest and recovery.

  • A gentle reminder: If your fatigue is new, persistent, or worrying, check in with your GP. Ruling out things like low iron or thyroid issues is a meaningful act of self-care.

• The Emotional Drain: That flat, grey feeling. The “blues.” Maybe it’s not quite sadness, but something closer to emptiness, like the colour’s been muted from your world. You might feel disconnected, under-stimulated, or just … meh. As if inspiration has stepped out and left you behind.

• The Longing: That quiet thought: “Just one more hour of sleep,” or “I wish I could disappear for a while.” What you really want is space where nobody expects anything, chores take a break, and you can simply be.

I get it. Truly.

And then, almost inevitably, arrives our inner critic. You know how it goes: “You’re under-performing. Your space is a mess. Everyone else is thriving, why can’t you? You’re so irresponsible!”

Ouch.

We compare our messy behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s highlight reel. We bully ourselves for needing rest. We treat ourselves with a harshness we’d never use on a friend.

I get it. That critic is LOUD. I’ve been there, too.

(On a personal note: When I look over my weekly to-do list, (things like blog research, client prep), that feeling of needing a break always comes up. And just as quickly, my inner critic fires back: “Stop being lazy.” Suddenly, I’m torn between fatigue and shame. Sound familiar?)

So, hold onto this:

Feeling this deeply tired isn’t failure. It’s simply part of being human.

You don’t need to fix your tiredness right now, justify it, or earn your rest. Your weariness is valid, whether it is physical, emotional, or that soul-deep longing for quiet. It’s a signal, not a flaw.

So, take a breath. Place a hand on your heart. Offer yourself the same kindness you’d give a weary friend:

“It’s okay. You’re allowed to feel this way. I see how hard this is.”

I get it. And more importantly, I believe you get it, too.

Your exhaustion deserves acknowledgement, not judgment; gentleness, not grit.

But what happens when that inner critic drowns out your kindness? 

When that voice insisting, “You shouldn’t be tired!” just won’t quiet down?

That’s what we’ll explore next week in Part 2.

We’ll look at why that inner bully shows up (spoiler: it’s actually trying to help) and how to soften its hold ... because you deserve peace, not pressure.

Until then, be gentle with yourself.

Your fatigue is valid.

Stefan Jürgens, RP (Qualifying), is the founder of Inner Counsel Psychotherapy and a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying). After nearly 20 years as a law librarian where he navigated complex legal issues and the human stories behind them, he now supports adults navigating anxiety, perfectionism, and life transitions with clarity and compassion. Stefan blends analytical precision with deep empathy, drawing on evidence-based approaches including CBT, DBT, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and Narrative Therapy. He holds Master’s degrees in Counselling Psychology (MACP) and Library & Information Science (MLIS).

Photo: Artem Lysenko via Pexels

#ValidExhaustion #PermissionToPause #TiredNotLazy #InnerCritic #MentalHealth #BurnoutRecovery #SelfCompassion #RestIsProductive #HumanNotLazy

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