The Perfectionism Paradox: A High Achiever’s Hidden Struggle

Perfectionism isn’t about doing your best—it’s about never feeling good enough. I know this firsthand. Maybe you can relate?

Perfectionism isn’t just about having high standards—it’s about feeling like nothing is ever good enough. Consider the three types of perfectionism:

• Self-Oriented Perfectionism – Holding yourself to impossible standards and feeling like a failure when you fall short.

• Other-Oriented Perfectionism – Expecting perfection from others and struggling with disappointment when they don’t meet unrealistic expectations.

• Socially-Prescribed Perfectionism – Believing others demand perfection from you and fearing their judgment.

The truth? Perfectionism isn’t the same as striving for excellence. While high achievers can celebrate effort and progress, perfectionists feel their worth is tied to flawless results—often at the expense of their mental health.

Recognizing the Warning Signs

Perfectionism often manifests as:

• Unrealistic standards (“Anything less than perfect is unacceptable.”)

• Harsh self-criticism (“If I’m not the best, I’m failing.”)

• Fear of failure (“If I fail, I’ll disappoint everyone.”)

• Overworking & burnout (“I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”)

• Procrastination (“If I can’t do it perfectly, I’ll put it off.”)

Breaking Free from Perfectionism's Grip

The path forward includes:

• Reframing expectations – Perfect is the enemy of progress.

• Seeking perspective – Failure isn’t a verdict; it’s a lesson.

• Practicing self-compassion – You’re human, not a machine.

• Getting support – Therapy can help shift perfectionist thinking.

Perfectionism won’t make you successful. It will make you exhausted. Are you ready to change the narrative?

If this resonates with you, therapy can help. Let’s work together at Inner Counsel Psychotherapy.

Photo: Juan Pablo Serrano via Pexels

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